Wedding Vows: Do's and Don'ts

Wedding Vows: Do’s and Don’ts
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Wedding Vows: Do’s and Don’ts

The Beauty of Wedding Vows

Wedding vows are the most romantic aspect of a wedding. It is the moment all the guests witness as the two people standing at the alter make a whole bunch of promises to each other. Although, some of these promises will probably be forgotten after the honeymoon!

Vows are more than just a few cheesy lines exchanged between a couple getting married. It’s almost like they are trying to summarize how they feel about each other and how much they commit to spending every minute of their futures together. It’s a statement of loyalty and a declaration of love. (side note: Did you know that centuries ago, the bride had to vow to obey her husband after marriage!?!) 

A Little Bit of Advice

Some couples choose to keep it light and entertaining considering their guests whereas, some prefer to be as deep and vulnerable with their vows. Either way, the guests are in for an emotional ride for those few minutes.

 Of course, how you choose to carry out your wedding vows is a completely personal decision and no two couples can have the same set of vows. But from everything I have gathered about vows from weddings I have attended to every American movie and television show that has had a wedding in it, I believe I have a little wisdom to share. Alright, wisdom might be a stretch, but I do have a few do’s and don’ts to make sure your wedding vows are the best they can be.

Do's

Stick to the basics. The classic statements of how much you love your partner always work. Also, please do not feel insecure if words do not come naturally to you. You do not need to be William Shakespeare to express how much you cherish your significant other. Just be as authentically yourself as possible and remember, what’s important is what YOU want to say to your partner, not how colourful the language you use is.

Talk about your vows with your partner before-hand. This isn’t always necessary but I believe that it could be useful to discuss the tone of your vows together. It could also be useful to agree on how long both your vows will be. This is so that we don’t end up in an awkward situation where your vows go on for 15 minutes and your partner is done with theirs in under 5.

Also, maybe this is just me but I find it extremely meaningful when a couple decides to read their vows to each other in private before the wedding. And yes, I am completely basing this on one episode of Jane The Virgin where the couple getting married did this but it was absolutely beautiful. (Season 2, episode 17. You’re welcome)

Be romantic but realistic. Vows are about promises, obviously. But there’s a difference between a genuine promise and an over-the-top cinematic dialogue you say in the moment. The vows you make are sacred and significant to the bond you are about to embark on. So, when you design your vows, remember to be honest with each other and to remember that marriages are not smooth sailing as the movies paint them out to be, they take work and patience.

Also, it would be helpful to read your vows to a friend or a family member. You can test out your punch lines and emotional parts of your vows so that their constructive criticism can help you tweak them up to perfection. There’s nothing worse than making any sort of speech or presentation and having pin drop silence the moment you crack your best joke.

Don'ts

As tempting as it may seem, do not turn your wedding vows into a Comedy Central roast. Yes of course, it’s funny to poke gentle fun at your partner and generate a good laugh amongst your audience. But, it is important to remember that there might be several members of your audience who are not familiar with your dynamic, especially relatives of your significant other. Therefore, they might be slightly offended by the jokes you make at your partner’s expense as they might find them inappropriate or uncalled for.

Don’t perform a monologue. I know you have a lot to say about your future spouse and no words seem like enough to express your feeling for them. However, if your vows go on for too long you might lose the grip you had on your guests at the beginning. It’s best to keep them short so that they leave a long-lasting impact on everyone especially the love of your life, standing in front of you.

Last but by no means the least, do NOT say the wrong name. We all saw how that ended.